she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
