I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
