It's like God shit irony all over that family
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize