If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
