OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
