We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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