My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
