this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
