when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
