Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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