I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
