He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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