i barfeds in our rink
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
