I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
