Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Randomize
