Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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