Do you still have your period?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
