Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
