Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Randomize
