That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
