You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
