Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
