All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
