So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize