I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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