"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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