I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
So squirting runs in the family.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Randomize