where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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