Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
