At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
