You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
