I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
