too bad you live with your parents still
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
i think my cat just said my name.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize