She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
So here I am, sexting at work.
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