I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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