I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
