There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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