Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
