the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
