Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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