I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
