That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
