my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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