Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
