hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Randomize
