I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
