Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
The adults are the big ones right?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
