Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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