i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
