How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
