After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
