Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
