she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Randomize
