why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Randomize
