Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
we're making bets on your personal life
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Randomize
